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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101903">You've been locked in here forever (and you just can't say goodbye)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/delightfuls/pseuds/delightfuls'>delightfuls</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Flash (TV 2014)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Post 6x14, angst lmao, iris centric bc u know the show doesn’t care about her feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:47:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,054</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101903</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/delightfuls/pseuds/delightfuls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She watched them kiss, watched him kiss her neck while the imposter smiled straight to her face.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry Allen/Iris West</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You've been locked in here forever (and you just can't say goodbye)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As soon as her knees hit the ground, Iris felt freedom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had spent weeks in that damn mirror alone with a maniupulative fucking liar, who had been feeding her lies and fake stories. She had spent weeks watching her best friend, her husband, the person she thought she knew and who knew her, wrapping his arms around a woman made of shards and reflections. She watched them kiss, watched him kiss her neck while the imposter smiled straight to her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watched his every movement, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>every </span>
  </em>
  <span>tic; the way his brows would furrow at a small detail she would never say, but t</span>
  <em>
    <span>he other</span>
  </em>
  <span> said. The way his mouth frowned when he knew in his soul there was something not right with her false self. Or the way he would gaze at any surface that reflected light, any surface </span>
  <em>
    <span>she could see him through</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>see her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She clung onto those little details hoping that one day soon he would realize </span>
  <em>
    <span>his Iris</span>
  </em>
  <span> was trapped and gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stopped hoping after day 14. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>2 weeks. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>336 hours.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>20 160 seconds</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She watched herself smile and kiss Barry off everyday to work, watched him come home and sweep her off her feet and not notice a thing. He laughed at her jokes and listened to what </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘she’</span>
  </em>
  <span> had done at work. They ran around the apartment chased each other until he eventually caught up to her from behind and lifted her off the ground. She watched him kiss </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> kiss him back. She watched them fuck, once and then twice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He never noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And when </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> came it </span>
  <em>
    <span>would look directly into the standing mirror against the wall near their dresser, a smirk on</span>
  </em>
  <span> her lips, and Iris stared back, her eyes no longer capable of producing tears and her throat no longer capable of even saying his name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not when she had stolen the depth of it, not when </span>
  <em>
    <span>it </span>
  </em>
  <span>had called him by it so many times that Iris couldn’t even differentiate the false warmth she saw dripping from the other woman’s mouth, from her own feelings for her husband. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day ??</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She stopped counting after a while. Eva would tell her to look at the bright side, at how her husband would hold her tight when they were finally able to get out. But even without knowing about Eva’s antics, Iris saw no hope, no warmth in her husband. He was no longer hers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Wally came to visit Central City. Suddenly her eyes were capable of forming tears, she cried and banged the mirrors to get his attention. She cried and sobbed until he left. If her own brother, her own father couldn’t detect her absence then what else was there to wait for? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had given up on her soulmate, the man whose lightning coursed through her veins, but not her blood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now she had lost that too, the one who raised </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>one she raised.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Both oblivious to her disappearance. She let her back slide against the large mirror, she started sobbing. Full force. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sobbed until her eyes hurt, until they were swollen, she sobbed until her throat ached, until hiccups and sharp intakes of breath took over her mouth’s functions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hands and fingers trembled when she stopped. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, a deep breath out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck everyone else she was getting out by herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day ???</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kamilla came into the mirror world, her heart pounding and her arms wrapping themselves around Iris’ neck. Iris never thought she would see someone again so soon, not when her plan was barely in the works. She clutched her friend’s back, as the latter apologized and begged for forgiveness. Iris just kissed her cheek and said it was okay, it was okay, they were okay. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are not,</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought her brain. But she pushed it aside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Together they worked day and night on a plan, behind Eva’s back. She comforted Kamilla as Cisco embraced her friend’s fake self, and pushed them harder to finish the ticking time bomb that would create an explosion so powerful it would break and seep into the real world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They would break the barrier between the false world and the real. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then they did, they were out. Her knees were on the real ground, she was free. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned to see Kamila and smiled. Both of them were bruised from the shards of the mirror and stained in the smoke of the explosion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they both knew the smiles were nothing but a facade, because the real challenge was facing real people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And they did. Barry hugged her tighter than he ever had. He whispered into her hair, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re safe…</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She wanted to scream because she wasn’t. She wasn’t safe. Not when he believed an imposter instead of seeing something wrong immediately. She couldn’t be safe with someone who barely knew her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So she pushed herself away. She pushed herself away from her father too. She isolated herself from everyone but Kamilla. Only Kamilla knew what it felt like to be disassociated from everything and everyone and yet see ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>yourself</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ as being more composed than ever in the eyes of everyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But even Kamilla didn’t know how Iris felt. How much she cried. How much she hit her fists against all the reflected surfaces until her fists bruised. Until they bled and became purple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shivered at the thought of it, and hid her fists under long sleeves. Her dad and her husband believed it was because of the scars she had gained due to the mirror but it wasn’t, it was because of the bruises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Month 3. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It took her around 3 weeks to gain back the notion of time. She could spend 6 hours in front of a meal, not touching it just staring. He would leave work with her in front of her breakfast and come back to her still in front of it, with her orange juice now warm. He would plead, beg and cry for her to talk to him, but she couldn’t. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How could she? </span>
  </em>
  <span>When he couldn’t listen to her before, when he didn't see the signs before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So she stayed quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't sleep much, not in the bed where he fucked </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Not on the couch where he stroked </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> thigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not in the chair where </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> sat on his lap. Not on the chair where </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> sat and typed on her laptop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only place </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> hadn’t touched was the window sill. So she sits there. Her skin and back against the cool of the window. The cold made her feel real, alive. And so she slept.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the end of month 3, she decided to leave for a bit. He begged her to stay, begged her to talk to him. But she couldn’t. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, she fucking couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He did everything to try to talk but she couldn’t. She raised her hands to her ears and muffled out his voice. They were like nails on a board. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands came up to her own and held them delicately down, and before she could push herself away he saw her bruises. He saw the purple, the growing blacks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wh- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Iris</span>
  </em>
  <span>, how?” He asked with his voice breaking. She saw his eyes, they were begging for her to let him in. His eyes were offering his soul to her all over again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>till death do us apart, </span>
  </em>
  <span>they pleaded, </span>
  <em>
    <span>through thick and thin.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She screamed. And there it was. Her voice was back. And it was back for him. To tell him to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes shrunk, his mouth frowned in disbelief, in hope maybe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She put a large space between them, and held the handle of the front door. He tried to slowly step towards her but she screamed again. “No!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flinched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t come near, don’t even breathe near me.” She let out, her voice breaking. Her tears finally shedding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t get the right to touch me. You don’t get the right to call me </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Iris’</span>
  </em>
  <span> not when you’ve been calling </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> this for the past </span>
  <em>
    <span>god knows how many days!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She said to him, her hand pointing at him accusingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t say anything, he didn’t look at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s exactly what I thought. You’re a coward, you don’t even know me! </span>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t even know me…</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Her voice gave up. She couldn’t see anymore, her vision was blurred. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So she left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She left and she could finally breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So she travelled, she drove, she knew she couldn’t stay still. So she drove until she couldn’t see any skyscrapers, until she couldn’t see any buildings. She drove until there was nothing but sand, nothing but cracked roads and mirages. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She drove until her car broke down. She made her way out of the car and collapsed to the ground, her knees hitting the old road. She finally felt free. Tears streamed down her face. But for once they weren’t tears of pain, or agony, they were of happiness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was free and alive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sat there for a good 20 minutes soaking up the sun before she called Wally. He sped to her in a flash and stayed with her until nightfall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both siblings made their way to the car’s roof and laid their backs to the metallic surface. She looked up at the stars, and they were beautiful and infinite. She could see them for miles with no end to their trails. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt Wally’s gaze on the side of her face. “You know </span>
  <em>
    <span>we</span>
  </em>
  <span> felt it.” He said. She turned her head towards him. “We felt that something wasn’t right with the speedforce, and it wasn’t, it was dying.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned her head back to the stars understanding that even the speedforce didn’t know her or about her disappearance. But then her brother spoke up again. “But what Barry felt was stronger, he felt like his powers were dimming as soon as </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> took over your life. His powers flickered around </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, sensing that something was off.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In his deep subconscious… Iris he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> before any of us. But how could he argue that it wasn’t you? You were in flesh and bones in front of him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span> was manipulating him, making him believe things. You have to understand that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes then, and realized that her brother was right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Month 5. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>She walks back to the empty apartment. It’s as tidy as it was when she left. Almost as if he had stopped time to preserve whatever soul of hers she had left here when she went on her trip. </p><p>
  <span>She cautiously raises her phone and sees that it’s 3:00 PM. He should be done with work by now and on his way home, so she waits.</span>
</p><p>She sits and waits, until she hears him fumbling with the door and his keys. And she can’t help but smile at that. When he walks in, he barely notices her, his eyes are dark, under them are even darker circles. He hasn’t been sleeping. </p><p>
  <span>He shrugs off his coat and pulls up his sleeves ready to head to the kitchen when he spots her. She shyly smiles at him and rises off the chair to head toward him, but he’s at her waist in a second. Sitting her down and hugging her waist to the side of his face </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew something was wrong I swear I just- she, it was so convincing and- and then the speedforce it was dying and it kept saying these things that you would never say, and I swear I just-“ She interrupted him.</span>
</p><p>Her fingers raking into his hair. “I know Barry. I know.” </p><p>
  <span>The sound of his name leaving her lips, made his eyes grow wide. He rose up to his feet and pulled her towards him. And kissed her until they both couldn’t breathe. Until they both felt something. Anything to prove they were both real. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re real, I’m real.” He let out alongside harsh breaths. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She touched his lips with her finger tips . “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re Barry and I am Iris.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He kissed her fingers, her bruised hands. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You are Iris and I am Barry, and we will always find each other.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This probably won’t happen but I like to believe Iris will rightfully be mad and sad about how Barry barely noticed that she was gone. Not reviewed all mistakes are mine. </p><p>Kudos and comments make me very happy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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